Some people are very interesting – aren’t they? Throughout my life, I’ve been involved in the healthcare industry for over 15 years and this has given me a great insight into people.
Having grown up and studied in Malaysia, Singapore, UK and Australia, I met and befriended all kinds of people from eastern and western cultures. And they’ve had a diaspora of beliefs that confronted each other but often also coalesced in harmony.
Working as a doctor in hospitals in the UK and Australia, I treated them when they were sick and depressed and saw them heal and go home in good spirits. And then there were those that I could not help even with the best of medicine, and died with their families around them or sometimes alone. I witnessed their attitude to life in the best and worst of times.
When I moved into the business of biotech and pharmaceuticals, I saw the big picture of healthcare, how financials shape the world and how governments and businesses interact to create a ‘healthcare ecosystem’, which ultimately was also driven by people and their opinions.
In my time as a filmmaker and entrepreneur, I heard their stories and learnt how to tell theirs as well as my own. I developed a courage that I had not needed before, a courage to brave the world under my own ‘brand’, the wits in my head, the passion in my heart and the clothes on my back. No big brand like “Pfizer” to support me. And I saw a different side of people then.
And in all that time, I found that there are really only 2 kinds of people in this world.
This may seem very simplified, and yes we can shift between these two kinds of people, particularly in our 7 Areas of wellbeing, particularly areas such as Career and Finance.
Type V – People who believe that ‘the world happens to them’
Type H – People who believe that ‘they happen to the world’
What do I mean here?
Well the Type V as I call them, are the ones that suffer from “If only I had….” Syndrome. They are often ‘victims’ of how the world (other people, employers, God, natural disasters, family members, ex-husbands/wives, etc) has them wrong and their problems are always somebody else’s fault.
While they may be proactive in some areas of their life, such as their social life or physical wellbeing, they are often reactive and disempowered in others areas, such as with their business, work or money.
When they don’t get what they want in those areas of life, they often tend to say “ Ah, if only I had an investor, my business would be going great” or “if only I was better looking, someone would hire me” or “if only I had white skin, I would have more friends” or “if only I didn’t have this disease, my life would be great”.
For these Type V, there is always a reason why they did not get something and it was due to their own bad luck and there was nothing they could do about it (or at least they thought). Interestingly they may not have this attitude in all areas of their life, just in the areas they appear to have been unsuccessful in achieving their desires.
Then, there is the Type H, which are the ‘Heroes’. Type H are the masters of their own destiny. They are often very positive and successful in business and in life. They are happier (or at least appear to be), because no matter what disaster, tragedy or illness happens to them and knocks them down for a period of time, they find a way to bounce back.
They also get along better with others and do the best with whatever God has given them. These people aren’t better looking, they don’t necessarily have more money nor were they’re the best academically. They believed in how well they were, even when they were sick.
They just made the most of what they had, they believed in going out and getting what they wanted in life, despite the odds and making their business successful, no matter how dumb, ugly or ignorant the world thought they were.
I admired the Type H people. They were still human, and had the usual flaws of being perfectly human. And they are times when they got depressed and defeated through life’s challenges, but they have heart, and they are persistent in getting to their goals, especially if their goal is as simple as daily happiness.
Now I know that this may seem a little judgmental or even controversial, however it is just my own observation of people having worked across many careers, countries, cultures and organisations.
But here’s the secret…..
Being Type V or Type H is a choice.
We are not born this way nor were we made this way.
At some point in life, and in some areas of our life, we chose to be either Type V or Type H. And we can change at any time……
So, which one you rather be?
Have you met anyone with “if only I had…..”syndrome?